In which I compare frequent flyer programs among major U.S. carriers, and again emerge a United corporate whoreperson

You know who has the best fucking frequent flyer program, at least for the time being? That’s right, United Fucking Airlines. I know, I already told you I love United, and you told me you live in Yorkville and United can eat you because they’re Newark’s bitch, and you would only go to Newark if you had to buy industrial solvents or something. I know, I know.

But hear me out. At least for the time being, United is the best domestic airline for free travel. If that is not what you care about, fine. Go have brunch at E.A.T. and pay $25 for a slice of toast. But it is what I care about, so if you’re still reading, appetize this. Continue reading

We All Want Approval

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Hey, guess what? I’m in a fucking good mood this morning, because I was approved for a Chase Sapphire Preferred. I know, it’s pathetic. And you’re probably wondering why I’m only getting one now when I only fucking talk about it every single minute of every single day. But I haven’t actually had my own. The one I have is Caroline’s card, and I’m just an authorized user. Continue reading

TSA PreCheck and Global Entry — that’s what she said

I don’t believe in lines. I believe in them for other people, like Christianity and diet soda. Just not for me. Don’t get me wrong; I think lines are one of the hallmarks of civil society, so we’re all not just clubbing each other trying to get in front. I just don’t want to be in one. If I see a line, my job is to figure out how to not be in it. I don’t know how many vendors or events or whatever it is I’ve walked away from because I didn’t want to be in a line. Continue reading